Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
