i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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