Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
