There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
