Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize