i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
