Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
