Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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