Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
