so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
