Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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