**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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