Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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