Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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