On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
