her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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