chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
