Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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