did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
