haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
