Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize