it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
