i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
