Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
