yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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