Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
