Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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