That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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