no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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