umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.