So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me