i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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