Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.