Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.