Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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