Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.