Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
