Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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