Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
