Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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