and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
