$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize