scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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