i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
