Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
