Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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