Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
