Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
