it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
