So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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