yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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