Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
