just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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