he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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