Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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