just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
3 2 1 whiskey
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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