it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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