did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
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The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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