So drunk, too bad you don't want this
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
