i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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