He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
