my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize