did you get engaged???
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
