I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
