You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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